frantic fermentations of salvaged ethos
trembling stir-fried impulses aggregate too soon.
Repulsive momentum blasts questions bereft of
here, now, indefinite finable persuasions of time and being
Confessions trouble in spastic crumpling regeneration,
agile permeation shifting in plasticity
a gleam in your father's eye

high school drool

illustration of me! by the brilliant boner-inducing chelsea lohr!!! <3

numb toes and madweed

losing the battle against my authoritative brain. i, the fully bloomed green crocus sweating cold dew into a black widow's web fog. brittle neck cranes to determine the source of the light sustaining me, so i can thrust my face into its richest muskiest under-folds. a pipe dream, out the belly of this leaden nebula, where sunbeams are diffused into infinite tiny projectors blaring dully into my every pore.


i got the coldest feet i know. mind informs body informs mind. when one wrestles contentious thought to the most distant margins of mental capacity, then refuses circulation to these siberias, one can expect compensation. dat ache, stinging ache, escorted by cushioned electrocution. cold enough for the whole foot to be a separate beast ready to be flung across the room, to shatter on the wall into a million icy blue bits. rat food!
gotta wobbling grasp on the singular frame; wanna save the data moshing for inside my strained lens caps. strained for the sake of remaining planetary, staying shack-bound and thus boundless in the realm of my choosing (excluding, of course, that slippery locus miles up the beanstalk, called healthy attachment)

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

trance 1

in a cramped loft, i settle my bones into a comfortable corner to zone out to stoney wandering sounds of the boys playing with their new pedals.
i'm watching tunnel lights whizzing by my window on BART. my train is traveling too fast for my stomach, so i zoom out until i'm looking at my own tiny peaked face far away on the other side of the glass. i take hold of the end of the train with my giant hand, peel it from the tracks and swing it around my head like a lasso. once i gain enough momentum, i release it from this orbit to hurtle out into space. as the train blazes through the atmosphere, flames eat away at its outer layer, revealing a serpent inside. looks like a water snake - meaty and yellow-eyed with large, thin, silvery scales.
i am this snake. i zoom around among wispy clouds of gas and marvel at metals sparkling on passing asteroids, all illuminated by the distant sun. without enduring the atmosphere, i'm suddenly terrestrial again, watching the snake floating finely above a glassy pond. it's someplace incomparably ethereal. each redwood tree, every flower petal is so crystal clear it has a bluish hue, hung with a layer of mist and an aura of untouchable peace. the snake drifts elegantly down into the surface of this pool, down through cool luminous water to the soft depths. its body collides with the springy, elastic bottom, and delicately sheds, revealing me inside. the dead skin remains earthbound and i continue to rise upward with the bounce, out of the abandoned scales, through the slow murk of disrupted clay and mud.
a switch in perspective, to the outskirts of this pond. looking through eyes peeping from the dusk of pine trees, watching this naked body gently glide, face upward toward the surface, as though pulled by an invisible cord extending from my diaphragm. when i emerge, i keep floating lightly up into the air, glowing.

then someone taps my leg and i open my eyes, ambushed by the dimly lit loft, my friends' bleary eyes and the smell of cold pizza. whoaa dude you dont even know where i just WENT man...