there's a human figure standing in front of me sobbing. keeps changing from male to female, spending lots of time in between and around and underneath. everything is changing, except the eyes - the same: dark brown, almond shaped, brimming with tears. around the eyes, skin darkens then lightens and pimples and heals, limbs lengthen and shorten, hair grows and shrinks and changes color and texture. like a slower, smoother version of that michael jackson video without the smiles.
all of the bodily shifting is peripheral - i'm focused entirely on avoiding their eyes.
i don't know what i just said to make them cry this way, but it i'm feeling the will behind it crumble. i want to take it back, but the words to do so won't come, because my dream self can't remember what it was i said.
i kneel down in front of the person to avoid that gaze, and i face what is currently a vagina, pale peach sagging skin with longish straight light brown hairs. it's greying, aging while i watch and i feel so sad.
i look up into the eyes and the face has come to a halt.
the dream is shifting in its place. the sadness is gone, the plot has changed.
it's someone with whom i am newly friends in waking life - certainly not close enough with to gaze upon his vagina - and he's smiling a little bit.
"i never told anybody before"
i get up and see a closet behind him, his closet, full of sparkling sequined bedazzlement. i know now he's a drag queen, and i'm the only one who knows about his pussy. i smile and feel the corners of my mouth brush my ears. i reach up and feel my teeth covering my cheeks, slippery and clean. i look around for a mirror to see that my mouth is really that big. not just to see what it looks like, but to make sure i'm not crazy.
i woke up to bongo sounds, and thought for a long time about my tendency to forget that my dream self is myself....
